Why Don't You Understand?

Why Don't You Understand?: Improve Family Communication with the Four Thinking Styles by Susie Leonard Weller

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

It's going to take a few more read-throughs and a lot of practice to master the habits and techniques Susie teaches in this book, but I think the effort will really pay off in the end.

Before I went to the conference session Susie led last month on Whole-Brain thinking, I would have described myself as a "left-brained" thinker, with a preference for the logical, linear types of thought-processes. Then I went through her exercises and discovered that actually I am split about 60/40 between quadrant "B" (Practical) and quadrant "C" (Relational), with only a tiny bit of preference for "A" (Logical), and no preference at all for quadrant "D" (Creative--this part was no surprise at all). Research shows that it takes 100% MORE energy for the brain to function in the quadrant diagonally opposite to a person's personal preference, but practicing can make it easier to do. This explains why being creative is possible but so exhausting for me! :}

Given my aforementioned preference for practicality, what I loved most about this book were the examples of dialogue & real-life applications/situations. What I wished there were more of...were yet more examples. :) But I think what is of the most value is the chance to think about and respect other people's ways of thinking and points of view. Ideally, both parents (or any adults in any situation) can learn to calm down, slow down, and make better decisions that work for everyone involved. Like, for example, adapting bedtime so that the practical-thinking child has a routine, the creative child gets to pick a transportation method (i.e. piggyback or magic carpet ride), the logical child understands why the rules exist, and the relational child gets the snuggle time s/he craves.

I highly recommend this book to all adults, but especially those who have kids with opposite thinking styles.


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