VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment

Voicemale: What Husbands Really Think about Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment by Neil Chethik

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


VoiceMale caught my eye as I was searching for something for a library patron, and I picked it up out of curiosity. What DO husbands think about their marriages, wives, sex, housework, and commitment? The result of Neil Chethik's research is an interesting mix of the surprising, the sad, and the encouraging, with a good dose of the obvious thrown in. (Men who split housework fairly with their wives tend to have happier marriages with more sex. Gee, no kidding!!)

Chethik's findings mesh well with what Alison Armstrong's PAX Program has been saying for years, which I appreciated. I would love to be able to discuss the book with my husband, although I'm doubtful I'll be able to convince him to read it any time soon. It's written with both genders in mind as its audience and could really be a helpful tool for strengthening and understanding marital relationships in all stages.

For readers' advisors: it almost qualifies as "nonfiction-that-reads-like-fiction," except for the lack of a unifying story arc.


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Bloodhound

Bloodhound by Tamora Pierce


My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Book 2 in the Beka Cooper series picks up a few months after book 1 leaves off. This time, Beka is no longer a trainee "puppy" but a real "Dog" (i.e. police officer) in the middle of unraveling where all the counterfeit money is coming from and halting the spread of it. It's a pretty good read, as with all of Pierce's books.

If you're recommending it to teenagers, be aware that there is some sexual content (more than the first book). Nothing graphic, but definitely some hormones happening, and Beka does actually have sex a couple of times. (Frankly, I wasn't all that impressed with the guy she chose, but for a teenager, she handled it maturely.)

According to the Find a Book website, Bloodhound is categorized as "High/Low," meaning that it's high interest but low reading level (for vocabulary). I don't think I agree with that because so much of the story is told in what Pierce--via Beka--calls "street cant." Think: fictionalized fantasy version of Cockney. It's fun to read, and Pierce does include a glossary at the end of the book, but someone who struggles with reading in general may have trouble with the made-up words and phonetic spelling.

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Kosher Sex

Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy by Shmuley Boteach

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars

This would make a great book club book because there is so much room for discussion and disagreement. I swung back and forth between totally agreeing with what Boteach said and completely disagreeing, experiencing nearly every point in the "agreement spectrum" along the way. I found myself really wishing I could discuss what I was reading with someone else who had just read the same thing. (I would LOVE to get my boyfriend's take on the book.) There is just so much to talk about!

For example, when I read the chapter on using sex to mend bridges, I REALLY wanted to argue with Boteach: how can he possibly think that sex can be used to end a fight?! Make-up sex, absolutely, but not until the real issues are uncovered and the fight is over because I have yet to meet a woman who wants to be touched like that while she's still angry. It just fuels the Rage Monster. Boteach advocates using sex to halt all but the biggest, most serious arguments, but I think that if the underlying issues aren't addressed promptly, they will fester and cause more arguments. (I did agree with his point about a higher frequency of sex overall being likely to prevent many arguments from beginning in the first place, though.)

On the other hand, I also wanted to be able to discuss the places where I completely agreed with Boteach, such as the chapter on adultery and the pain it causes: When a man cheats on his wife, "she experiences a pain equivalent to death. Her former marriage goodwill oozes out slowly, and she finds every reason in the world to quarrel. Her friends see her and will hate you for snuffing out the fire in her soul" (p.223). He really nailed that description.

These are just two of many many examples, so I really do recommend this book for reading in book groups.

Something else I'd love to see? Rabbi Boteach and Alison Armstrong (of PAX programs) discussing these issues!


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The Secret Lives of Men

The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships by Christopher Blazina

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'm giving up on this one. I've been trying to read it off and on for a few months now. What the author has to say is valuable, but...oy. The writing style reminds me of students who have to write a 10-page paper but only have 5 pages' worth of things to say. It's very redundant & dry. A good editing would go a long way. *sigh*

Instead, I would recommend checking out what the people at www.understandmen.com have to say. The PAX workshops are expensive but totally worth it, and there are now some programs on CD, DVD, and even in book format.


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Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

I never realized a scientific look at sex (research) throughout history could be so very funny! I was thoroughly entertained and fascinated. If the book wasn't now a day overdue (and on hold for someone else), I would go back to the beginning and read it again because it was just that interesting.

Some of my favorite things about this book were the often-snarky footnotes, the photos or other illustrations that began each chapter, the chapter titles (ex: "The Princess and Her Pea" and "Re-Member Me" to name just two that I think I can get away with without turning this review too risque for work) and subtitles (ex: "Can a Woman Find Happiness with a Machine?" and "Creative Approaches to Impotence"), and Mary Roach's incredible ability to be simultaneously matter-of-fact and tongue-in-cheek. Wonderful! Very educational AND fun.


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