Small Move, Big Change: Using Microresolutions to Transform Your Life Permanently

Small Move, Big Change: Using Microresolutions to Transform Your Life Permanently by Caroline L. Arnold
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

While this book is a little repetitive, the concepts and concrete examples are fantastic. Arnold's main premise is that instead of getting totally overwhelmed trying to make sweeping changes in your life, the only way to truly alter your habits is to identify specific, measurable actions you can take--no more than two at a time--and focus on doing those relentlessly until they become automatic and no longer require any conscious effort, then move on to the next small shift, and so on. Sometimes this means altering your routine; sometimes this means altering your internal dialogue.

The hardest part for me is deciding where to start. So next up: finding a quiet hour to do some soul-searching to decide what is bothering me the most and what is a small change I could make that would have a positive impact and focus on continuing to do it, no matter what.

I borrowed the eAudiobook of this from my library, but I may need to buy my own copy to refer back to when I need a refresher.

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Bringing Back the Wolves: How a Predator Restored an Ecosystem

Bringing Back the Wolves: How a Predator Restored an Ecosystem by Jude Isabella
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A lovely picture book for older kids (or adults) about the effects of reintroducing wolves into Yellowstone National Park, an ecosystem devastated by the systematic killing of apex predators in the late 1800s. There were a few spots where I felt like a little additional content would have been helpful, or at least don’t leave me hanging and searching for where the story thread picks back up. But overall an excellent book for anyone who wants to know more about the critical and sometimes surprising effects keystone species like wolves have on their environments.

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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If I could give this book 10 stars, I would do so. It is my new go-to choice for a baby shower gift, and I will be encouraging all my friends and family members who take care of young children to read it, too. This is the most useful, practical, life-changing parenting book I have ever read or heard about! (And I'm a huge fan of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg, so this is really saying something.)

I'm a very concrete thinker much of the time, and the authors have provided example after example after example of real-life stories of parents using these techniques--ordinary, loving, exasperated parents, Just. Like. Me. You can start using the tools as you read them, even if you haven't finished the entire book first, and the results are immediately apparent. Some of it seems so obvious once you read the rationale--I mean, who doesn't need to have their feelings understood and acknowledged in order to regain the emotional space to think? (See Jim Peterson's Why Don't We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in Relationships for more on going "flat-brained.") Other tools or techniques were so creative, I found myself thinking, "What a great idea!" For example, getting kids in on the problem solving by doing things like making a list or chart with pictures of what has to be done, a necessary sequence of events, alternative and acceptable choices, or [fill in your own situation here].

I've already reduced my own tendency to get frustrated with my kids and yell (not eliminated, mind you, and that's addressed at the end...spoiler alert: even the best of parents still get angry sometimes!), which has improved the behavior of everyone in my household. With more practice, I hope to get even better at remembering these tools in the heat of the moment! And frankly, I'm hoping that adjusting my parenting style now will reap additional benefits as my kids grow into teenagers, when my patience will again be sorely tested.

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Sacred Rest: Recover your life, renew your energy, restore your sanity

Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I really wanted to like this book. I requested my library purchase it so I could read it. But...it is WAY too preachy, repetitive, and lacking in useful content. I enjoyed the brief scientific parts. I enjoyed some of the parts where she talked about her own struggles and those of her patients. However, I needed there to be much more science and much much less evangelism. I'm fully on board with the idea that rest is sacred, necessary, and as God intended. Stop quoting Bible verses at me, though, especially when they are taken out of context and irrelevant. I wanted to read the book to get tips/ideas for how to manage my life so that I feel more rested, present, joyful, and calm. In the end, I realized that reading the book was annoying me so much I was skimming it while rolling my eyes and muttering impolite responses, so when my checkout expired, I didn't bother to renew and finish the last few chapters. She wasn't saying anything new. In fact, the book might not have been too bad had an editor removed all the redundancies, nearly every Bible verse, and every attempt to convert the reader to her particular brand of evangelical Christianity.

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Grown-Up Marriage: What we know, wish we had known, and still need to know about being married

Grown Up Marriage: What We Know, Wish We Had Known, and Still Need to Know about Being Married by Judith Viorst
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Someone gave this to me for a bridal shower gift, I think, but it sat on my to-read shelves for the past 8 years until I picked it up almost at random last month. I'm actually pretty glad I didn't read it prior to getting married or even in the first few years of my marriage, as I found the tone of much of it quite dismal and depressing and focused on unhappy people.

On the bright side, I appreciate my own marriage and husband even more now that I've finished the book! Perhaps it's a generational thing, since Viorst is substantially older than I am, or maybe her intended audience is the generation younger than I, who might be getting married before they've figured out who they are and what they want? Really, though, there aren't a whole lot of earth-shattering revelations. Much of the book boils down to:
1) Choose your life partner very carefully (I personally recommend eHarmony!)
2) Communicate honestly, kindly, and frequently
3) Treat each other with respect
4) Don't cheat on your spouse and expect anyone to feel good about it
5) Really, just don't cheat on your spouse
6) Maintain your sex life (with your own spouse--see #5)
7) Have fun together because those memories will help sustain you through the rough patches
8) Everything will change all the time as you move through the stages of life, so expect continual adjustments and plan to do the hard work of making them in concert with your spouse.

I don't want to give the impression that I hated the book--it wasn't awful, it just wasn't as helpful as I'd hoped. Clearly there are plenty of other reviewers for whom it clicked. Maybe they recognized themselves in some of the couples or situations, maybe they had some "Aha!" moments while reading one or more sections, or maybe they just read it at exactly the right moment in their lives. That's great! I will donate my copy to the Friends of the Library for a book sale so perhaps it'll make its way to someone who'll get that kind of benefit from it.

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Modern Romance

Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Listening to this audiobook was much more interesting than I expected--Ansari did actual research! I didn't think it was going to be an genuine nonfiction title, so I was pleasantly surprised. It was fun to hear him read his own book, and I presume most of his asides to listeners were just for the audio version.

After listening to the book, I am more thankful than ever to have used eHarmony to meet my husband. Ansari mostly focuses on Tinder, OKCupid, and Match.com when he looks at online dating, which fascinated me because of the difference in approach and philosophy they have as compared with eHarmony, and hence the clientele they seem to attract. I guess if you are just looking for a way to meet more people, and you're not ready for or interested in a serious relationship, it makes sense that you wouldn't want to invest the time it takes to fill out the long questionnaires eHarmony has you complete. My personal experience (over 8 years ago, so it may have changed since then) was that the process of the questionnaires and the stages of communication functioned as a way to essentially weed out the people you wouldn't be happy with anyway and allows you to just explore relationships that actually have potential for long-term success. It's too bad that the people in Ansari's focus groups don't appear to have caught on to this, since many of them mentioned being exhausted by this process of trying to find someone, and some even realized that too many choices could be overwhelming. If you're basing your dating decisions solely on profile photos (or even brief online profiles), particularly ones which may appear to you in an app purely due to GPS proximity at that precise moment, odds are, it'll take A LOT of bad dates to meet someone who's right for you. Ugh. No thanks!

It was also fascinating to hear about other cultures' current trends in dating and marriage. For example, I had no idea Japan was having such an issue with people not wanting to get married and have children. And the differing views of fidelity around the world were likewise captivating...and often sad. There was a lot of unnecessary and preventable anguish in those too-high statistics on global cheating. We need to take better care of ourselves and each other.

Another relatively recent phenomenon I am thankful to be old enough to have avoided (and which terrifies me when I think about my daughter's future) is sexting. Some younger women apparently choose to sext because they see it as being in charge of their own bodies and sexuality. I'm all in favor of empowering women, but...wow. How do they not realize that they lose all of that supposed control the moment someone else has those photos? Talk about being poster children for the science of brain development and how the ability to foresee consequences often doesn't mature until your mid-twenties!

Dating in the modern age isn't all bad, though, and I don't want to dissuade anyone from reading this book because my review points out some of the downsides. It's not all gloom & doom out there; I'm merely thankful to be happily married and not dealing with the anxiety of texting etiquette, etc.

For readers' advisors: Ansari is a male comic who swears like a sailor. Do not suggest this book to anyone who doesn't enjoy off-color stand-up comedy routines. I can deal with a certain amount of profanity, but I got REALLY tired of it by the end, especially his overuse of the word "boning" and all its variants. It can take a long time to listen to the entire book when you can only listen while alone in the car--this is NOT a book for children to hear. It would be fun to analyze and debate this book, so if your book group members have a high tolerance for foul language, it might be a great choice to foster a lively book discussion.

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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondō
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

2 1/2 stars, but I'll round up.

I have mixed feelings about this book, but some of the things I liked include:
* Flipping around your perception of purging to view the process as "choosing the things to keep" rather than the more negative concept of "getting rid of stuff."
* Choosing to keep the things that spark joy in you, no matter if they might not for someone else.
* Getting rid of items you don't like or use, no matter how expensive, new, or who gave them to you. Let them go with gratitude for the service they provided or the thoughtfulness they represent. (This allowed me to give away some clothes I never liked but had always felt I "should" keep.)
* Treat your belongings with respect and make sure each has its own place.
* Gather all items of a particular type together and handle each one to give you the best picture of what you own and which you like best when you are choosing what to keep.

Some things that made me question her sanity:
* SHE DEFACED BOOKS!!! She actually tore pages out to keep just the parts she liked best. I wanted to (metaphorically speaking) kill her when I read that! NO. Just, NO. If you like certain parts, make a photocopy of those bits and donate the book whole so that someone else can enjoy it. Don't destroy it!!
* Likewise, the books she kept now fit on ONE SHELF in a SHOE CUPBOARD. Say what?! Again, no. Just, no.
* There is no way I am going to empty my purse every single time I come home in the evening. No. Way. Yes, I need to go through it more often to empty out the receipts and expired coupons, but doing that every day is a waste of time and effort. The rest of the things in my purse are in there on purpose because I need them frequently. It would be very bad to accidentally leave something at home--this is the same reason I do not change purses to match my outfits.
* What is her problem with manuals? Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater! Yes, some might be unnecessary, but I referred to our refrigerator & microwave manuals several times just since I began reading this short book, & I've referred to our camera manual numerous times. Get rid of manuals for things you no longer own, but keep ones for things you do, otherwise you will end up asking your local librarians to track down copies, and we can't always find them for you!
* Likewise, get rid of all guest bedding unless you have frequent guests? So...you buy and discard bedding every time you have infrequent guests? Um, NO. Our linen closet is not musty, and there is plenty of room for a spare set of sheets, thanks. Not to mention, when we had a guest room, the sheets could simply stay on the bed. This may be a cultural difference that doesn't translate well from Japan to the US.

Some reviewers have commented on the animism she displays in talking to homes and possessions. I admit, it's a little "out there" for me, but she does say you can do it in your head, and I'm not one to judge--as a child I used to think my stuffed animals and dolls had parties when I was asleep or out of my room, and I still silently thank all green traffic lights, so.... (Had the Toy Story movies been out when I was young, I might have thought they were proof positive!)

Overall, it's worth reading this book if you're looking for help streamlining your possessions to get your life back under control. Just take a few things she says with a grain of salt. And don't stress over her origami sock-folding instructions because she's written a follow-up book with diagrams to better explain her methods: Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up

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The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts

The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have heard good things about the 5 Love Languages series of books for years, but I had not read any of them until I received this version at a post-deployment yellow ribbon workshop. I now believe ALL military couples should read this edition, and everyone else should read at least one of the others. It would transform marriage in this country and around the world if we all learned to identify and speak the primary (and secondary) love languages of our spouses. Likewise, applying the same principles to our children, parents, extended family, friends, coworkers, and so on would radically improve all types of relationships, making this world a far happier, kinder, better place to live.

I wish I had been introduced to this book before my husband was deployed so that we could have tried out some of the strategies and activities Dr. Chapman suggested as accommodations during periods of separation. However, using the quiz at the end of the book really helped me discover what love languages speak the most strongly to me, and analyzing myself allowed me to identify and understand past interactions, both positive and negative. Now it's my husband's turn to read the book, and I'm excited to practice being "multilingual"!

Other reviewers have noted the prevalence of examples mentioning Christian couples, but the love languages are not specific to one religion or culture. The authors have just had a whole lot of Christian clients over the past few decades, particularly among their military clientele.

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Yes, Please

Yes Please by Amy Poehler
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The audiobook version is fantastic! Amy Poehler herself "reads" it, but it never feels like reading--more like she's just talking to you and telling stories. She also gets Carol Burnett, Kathleen Turner, and Patrick Stewart to read her chapter titles, Seth Meyers to read a chapter he's written (i.e. chat with Amy in the sound booth and read his chapter), Mike Schur(?) to chat with her about creating the TV show "Parks and Rec," and even her parents have small speaking moments. It's a very humorous book.

Fair warning, though: Amy has a potty mouth much of the time and apparently spent much of her twenties and part of her thirties stoned, so it's not suitable for tender ears. I could only listen to it when my toddler wasn't in the car.

I might have given it 5 stars if it weren't for the abundance of swearing and my disappointment in Amy for all the drug use and smoking. Everyone has their own journey to get to where they are today, and I wouldn't have wanted her to lie about her life, but for me it was heartbreaking to know that she had done so many stupid things in her younger years--a hero falling off a pedestal, I suppose. Such a waste--think of all the (much funnier) things she could have written and performed during those years if she hadn't been stoned! She's really proud of the Upright Citizens' Brigade (UCB) improv company she helped found and is still involved with, but some of the stories she tells about them are appalling--like pressuring their entire audience to smoke pot before they would start one particular performance. Dude, if you have to be stoned to enjoy it, it's probably not that good!

Still, if you're debating between reading and listening to this book, I'd recommend listening. Hands down, no question.

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Jo Frost's Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior

Jo Frost's Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior by Jo Frost
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have always liked watching Jo Frost as "Supernanny" on TV because she works miracles with common sense and love. Her written advice is more of the same: practical, effective, logical, and based on the stages of child development. Fabulous! I especially appreciated that she gave real-world scenario examples of all her techniques, tips, and troubleshooting FAQs. That really helped me connect the theory to what it would look like in practice and when to use which method. There is nothing revolutionary or mind-blowing about the lessons in this book, but that's the point. Raising toddlers isn't rocket science, it's just structure, consistency, and discipline (in the best sense of the word), with a whole lot of patience and love. The main takeaway for me is something I usually do instinctively and will now do consciously: S.O.S. = Step back, Observe, Step in. Thanks, Supernanny!

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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I wish I'd read this book sooner!  It's the whole reason I am able to sit here on my couch in a quiet house and write this review instead of being up in my daughter's room being a human pacifier for about 2 hours, trying to get her to take a nap.  Since I read the sections on Ms. Hogg's "E.A.S.Y." system, we've been able to get our daughter to go down for naps much quicker and easier and without requiring us to rock her or pace or nurse, etc.  Now we watch for the signs she's getting tired, make sure she's got a dry diaper & a full tummy, put her in her sleep sack & darken her room, read a story if she's not too far gone already, and put her down.  She usually gives a protest cry for a couple of minutes and then conks out.  Sometimes she just conks out.  It's fantastic!!  I do have to admit, though, that I don't always stick to "E.A.S.Y." (Eat Activity Sleep You-time).  Often it's more like E.A.E.S.Y. or A.E.A.S.Y., but the main thing is that we watch for those tell-tale yawns now.

I do have a couple of cautions about the book, however.  First, it's a little unclear whether Ms. Hogg expects her audience to read the book before or after the baby is born.  She talks a lot about getting to know your baby as an individual, which you can't do until s/he is externally visible, but once the baby is born, you have zero time or energy for reading until long after she suggests you start following her guidelines.  So my recommendation is to read it before the baby comes and then refer back to specific sections after your little darling starts making his or her personality known.

My next caution has to do with the accuracy of some of the science, namely regarding breastfeeding and breast milk.  I very much appreciate that Ms. Hogg doesn't want any mother to feel badly about her decision to give her baby formula versus nursing and/or pumping, but in the 14 years since this book was first published, there have indeed been scientific studies that indicate breastfeeding is better for both mother and baby.  It's not the end of the world if you have to use formula exclusively or supplementally, but it is preferable to breastfeed if you can.

And finally, my last, and definitely least, quibble is with the overuse of the word "luv."  It seems to be intended to make the book feel more folksy and less like an expert telling you what to do, but about 90% of the instances should have been cut with a lovely editor's pen.  They really started to grate on my nerves.

Bottom line, though: a good choice for expectant parents who want to be able to eat, sleep, and shower, not to mention read a book or watch Downton Abbey ever again.  You might even want to buy this one and put it on your parenting resources shelf to refer back to now and again.

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Secrets of an Organized Mom: How to Declutter and Streamline Your Home for a Happier Family

Secrets of an Organized Mom: How to Declutter and Streamline Your Home for a Happier Family by Barbara Reich
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Two and a half stars, actually, but I'll round up because not everyone will be as horrified as I was at the instruction to organize your books by size. BLASPHEMY! And also only appropriate for people who own about 2 shelves of books. For the rest of us, that's a truly idiotic thing to do--a complete time waster, both on the "organizing" end as well as on the "finding ever again" side. *shudder* That concept deeply offends my librarian soul.

On the plus side, many of her ideas are pretty practical, particularly her overarching rules of Purge, Design, Organize, Maintain, and nine of her ten "commandments." The exception being #9: "Use one kind of hanger, storage container, etc." That's all well and good if you've got loads of extra cash to spend, but it's definitely not something I'd put right up there as one of the most important rules. And I do not share her love affair with plastic, handy as it is in some cases. I'd much prefer non-toxic alternatives whenever possible. However, she is correct that when purchasing containers, having them all the same (or coordinating) shapes and sizes does usually make the best use of your available space because they fit together well, stack efficiently, and are visually pleasing.

I like that she takes you through each area of the home, as well as seasonal things like holidays, vacations, and even moving. (Her story of losing luggage when her twins were babies cracked me up: the queen of organizing hadn't packed a change of clothes for everyone in the carry-ons? Ha!) I also liked how she advocated labeling things...perhaps to an extreme...because it makes me even more thankful I talked my husband into buying me a label-maker last summer. I love my label-maker!

I didn't find any concepts in this book especially earth-shattering, but they were good reminders of ways to break tasks down and to look at your space with new eyes, and most importantly, to be persistent in getting through your problem areas. Like Commandment #1 says, "Do the thing that is most distasteful to you first." Home office, here I come!

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The Hour of Peril: the secret plot to murder Lincoln before the Civil War

The Hour of Peril: The Secret Plot to Murder Lincoln Before the Civil War by Daniel Stashower
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

There is no mystery how this book will end: Lincoln survives his journey and is inaugurated as President of the United States. And yet somehow Daniel Stashower has turned historical fact into a nail-biting thriller. I was expecting essentially a biography of Lincoln's time leading up to his presidency, but the whole first third or so of the book is really a biography of Allen Pinkerton, the man who created the profession of private investigators. It's fascinating! I cannot wait to give this book to my history buff father-in-law.

The only thing which keeps me from rating it 5 stars is that there were so many names that sometimes I lost track and would have really appreciated some sort of glossary and/or chronological timeline as an appendix that I could refer to occasionally. Otherwise, though, it was outstanding!

I received an advance copy from the publisher through Bookbrowse.com, but the book is scheduled to be published next month (February 2013), so it's not too long of a wait.

For readers' advisors: story doorway is primary, character & setting secondary. No sex or onscreen violence (just the plotting thereof).

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You Hear Me?: Poems and Writing by Teenage Boys

You Hear Me?: Poems and Writing by Teenage Boys by Betsy Franco
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I picked this poetry collection up because it was on a list of banned or challenged books, and I was curious. These boys are amazing! They blew me away with their honesty, pain, hope, and humor. They made me laugh and moved me to tears. One of the boys died of a drug overdose before the book was even published--a heartbreaking loss of potential and talent.

Yes, some of the language is rough and raw. A few of the boys use words I do not like. But it's authentic, and choosing less-graphic alternatives would not give the same impact.

For readers' advisors: language doorway. This is a book for older, mature teens and adults.

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Paris in Love: A Memoir

Paris in Love: A Memoir by Eloisa James
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What a delightful treat of a book! Author Eloisa James has turned a series of Facebook and Twitter posts from her year living cancer-free in Paris with her family into an engaging and funny memoir. She edited the posts into vignettes and short essays--snippets of life, love, and laughter abroad. It makes for perfect reading on lunches and breaks because it's easy to pick up and put back down without losing track of the "action." I now want to visit Paris if for no other reason than to visit all the chocolatiers!

For readers' advisors: character doorway is primary, setting and language are secondary.

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The Reading Promise: My Father and the Books We Shared

The Reading Promise: My Father and the Books We Shared by Alice Ozma
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am so envious of The Streak. I wish my parents (or I) had thought of that when I was little--to read to me every single night until I went off to college. We were never as financially strapped as the Brozinas were, so I had opportunities Alice does not seem to have had, like going on youth group retreats and mission trips, which would have broken The Streak long before college began. Still, I wish we had tried.

The Reading Promise tells of an eccentric elementary school librarian and his equally quirky youngest daughter navigating the difficult world of single parenting with the help of a promise to read together each and every single day--no exceptions. The stability of their routine supports them through some incredibly trying times. Alice, now a recent college graduate, has a writing style which had me in turns laughing hysterically at the fish funeral, wishing desperately to comfort her pre-teen self, and ready to go to battle at her father's side over the removal of all books from the school library.

My mom, also a retired elementary school librarian & teacher, insisted I read this memoir before she returned it to the library, and I'm so thankful she did. This is a must-read for parents and grandparents (and step-parents). Reading to children enriches both the children and the adults on so many levels, the benefits are incalculable. Not to mention priceless and essential. And free!

For readers' advisors: character doorway is primary, story is secondary. No sex, violence, or bad language, so no excuses!

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American Chick in Saudi Arabia

American Chick in Saudi Arabia by Jean Sasson
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Jean Sasson has written several other well-known books (The Rape of Kuwait and Growing Up bin Laden, for example), but this is her own story of going to live in Saudi Arabia in 1978 as a single, blond, American woman. She was and is a champion for women's rights in a region of the world where women are still very much second-class citizens. Sasson was an extraordinarily adventurous woman in an era where even Western women were just learning to spread their wings. (My biggest accomplishments in 1978 were learning to read and attending preschool, so I can't say I have much first-hand experience of this struggle.)

As interesting as I found her stories, I was disappointed that the book felt hastily written. It's extremely short, for one thing--only 67 pages of the 80 in my eBook version from NetGalley were written by Jean Sasson. And not much time is spent on setting the scene or laying out a coherent storyline. I was nearly to the end before I realized that Jean was not the 23-year-old ingenue I'd been picturing but rather a 30-ish twice-divorced woman. Perhaps I should have done some research on her before reading her memoir?  I did read in one of the appendices that more information, including a timeline, is available on her website.  Too bad that wasn't in the book!

In addition to the feeling of skipping thither and yon, I got the impression that this slim volume was written not so much to tell Jean's amazing life story but to highlight a particular viewpoint about women's lack of freedom in Saudi Arabia both then and now. It felt evangelical, like a crusade, which made me uncomfortable despite my belief that Saudi women are long overdue for a cultural revolution resulting in equal rights. For a memoir, very little of the book focuses on Jean's daily life in Riyadh. And if she's going to use the book as a pulpit for freedom, I'd have liked to read more of an in-depth analysis of her day(s?) beneath the all-encompassing black robes and veils. In her thirty years in the Arab world, surely she must have witnessed a variety of responses to the restrictive modes of dress?

Then again, I did just read a Goodreads posting from Jean herself letting readers know that this is only part one of what she envisions as a 5-volume memoir, so perhaps later portions will fill in some details. Obviously I am not the only reader/reviewer who wished for more of the story. Had there been more substance to this first part than tales of three Saudi women she met from different backgrounds and their experiences with their husbands and veils, I would likely have rated the book three or even four stars. As fascinating (and sad, in the later two cases) as the women's stories were, the telling felt more like a campaign than a reflecting back, as I'd hope a memoir to be. Nevertheless, I will be interested in reading volume two to see what improvements and additions Sasson makes.

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Cooking from the Farmers' Market

Williams-Sonoma Cooking from the Farmers Market by Jodi Liano
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The photos in this new cookbook are luscious--food porn, to be honest. Gorgeous and mouth-watering enough to make me wish I liked cooking. Tempting enough to have me thinking about actually attempting a few of the simpler recipes.

Make no mistake, this is not a cookbook intended for the culinary novice. I had hopes it might be, especially when it opened with photos of fresh food and charts of fruit and vegetable seasons. It even ends with a fabulous index (by ingredient!) and recipes for some oft-repeated basics like pastry dough and cooked white rice. And every fruit or vegetable begins with a lesson on what to look for, how to store it, and a brief history of the item. Love that!

However, as simple as some of the recipes are, others call for things like "oyster sauce." (Is that a real thing, and do I even want to know?) Not every recipe has been photographed, nor have any key steps. There are cheeses I've never heard of, and instructions I don't fully understand. Blanching, for example. Despite the instructions at the end of the book on how to do that, I'm still not clear on what that word means outside the context of human emotions and facial expressions.

Rather, this is a book one has for inspiration. For planning a fancy dinner party menu to delight one's guests. Or to give to a true foodie--someone whose passion involves shopping for and cooking lovely, healthy food. Don't get me wrong: I adore this book and am thrilled to have received an eBook version through NetGalley. I have immensely enjoyed reading it and even learned a few things along the way. I plan to try out a handful of the recipes on Sundays when I can both go to my local farmers' market and have the free time to work on preparing the dishes. But this beautiful book is better suited to a chef. Maybe not a professional chef who should have already learned these things in culinary school, but an amateur hobbyist chef who enjoys entertaining family and friends.

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The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters

The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters by Sarah Susanka
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love Sarah Susanka's home design books, but I was a little surprised to learn she had also written a book that fell into the spiritual journey/self-help arena (or "conduct of life," as it's cataloged in my library). I was feeling the need for some inspiration, so I checked it out last fall when I was home sick for a while.

Susanka applies principles of great home design to create guidelines on how to live one's life, and what she has to say fits in well with other books like The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson. I admit that I just read through the exercises in the book rather than trying them, although I did sometimes think about what my answers would be. They were good exercises, and eventually I will probably go back and try many of them. I'm sure they would benefit me greatly. I was simply too exhausted at the time to muster the mental energy necessary, and I let myself believe the excuse of needing to get through the book so I could return it to the library on time. (Obviously this was bogus, as I kept renewing it for months.)

Despite how long it took me to finish, I really enjoyed reading this book. Susanka gave me new perspectives, new ways to observe my life and change old, ineffective patterns. It's not a quick read, but it's a good one.

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A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom

A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom: Expert Advice from Other Stepmoms on How to Juggle Your Job, Your Marriage, and Your New Stepkids by Jacquelyn B. Fletcher

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A couple of weeks ago, I was walking by the nonfiction stacks of my library and saw this book out of the corner of my eye. A coworker had put it on display. I saw it and thought, "YES! Someone wrote a book for people like me!!" Most of the books I've seen, including the excellent book Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family, focus primarily on stepfamilies where both spouses bring with them children from previous relationships. This is not me. So much of what these other books have to say is only partially relevant to my situation. Not so with Fletcher's book!

I have never thought of myself as "a career gal" in the fast-talking, high-powered executive sense of the word. I am, after all, a public reference librarian. It is not likely I will ever have to worry about making more money than my husband (an IT manager). But like the women in this book, I have been in the working world for years and had no children of my own when I married my husband. I cannot adequately verbalize how great it felt to find a book like this that speaks to my situation and focuses not just on the hardships but on the joys and the things you can do to improve your family life.

That is not to say that I identified with every situation mentioned. I have never, for example, felt marginalized by church members who didn't know how to adjust for stepfamily dynamics. That concept came as a surprise to me. However, practically everything else resonated with me, to one degree or another, and not only made me feel better about both my successes and failures as a new stepmom but gave me tools and tips for improving myself and my relationships. My only complaints are 1) that once in a while it feels a little redundant, and 2) that I didn't find this book 3 or 4 years ago. Oh, how it would have saved me so much stress and heartache the past few years! Ah well.

For readers' advisors: suggest this title to women in serious relationships with men who already have children. For that matter, it also works for women in serious relationships with other women who have kids.



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