The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts

The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have heard good things about the 5 Love Languages series of books for years, but I had not read any of them until I received this version at a post-deployment yellow ribbon workshop. I now believe ALL military couples should read this edition, and everyone else should read at least one of the others. It would transform marriage in this country and around the world if we all learned to identify and speak the primary (and secondary) love languages of our spouses. Likewise, applying the same principles to our children, parents, extended family, friends, coworkers, and so on would radically improve all types of relationships, making this world a far happier, kinder, better place to live.

I wish I had been introduced to this book before my husband was deployed so that we could have tried out some of the strategies and activities Dr. Chapman suggested as accommodations during periods of separation. However, using the quiz at the end of the book really helped me discover what love languages speak the most strongly to me, and analyzing myself allowed me to identify and understand past interactions, both positive and negative. Now it's my husband's turn to read the book, and I'm excited to practice being "multilingual"!

Other reviewers have noted the prevalence of examples mentioning Christian couples, but the love languages are not specific to one religion or culture. The authors have just had a whole lot of Christian clients over the past few decades, particularly among their military clientele.

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I'll Always Love You

I'll Always Love You by Paeony Lewis
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

My daughter and I LOVE this book. The story is about a little bear who accidentally breaks his mother's favorite honey bowl while trying to surprise her by fixing her breakfast. He's afraid she'll be so mad she won't love him any more, so he tests the waters before he confesses by making up various scenarios of misbehavior to see how she reacts. She always responds with "I'll always love you, but you will have to [insert appropriate consequences here]."

I love that this board book shows children they will be loved no matter what mischief they get into, and there are logical consequences for actions--if you get paint on your baby sister, you will have to give her a bath, etc. I also love that it depicts a child telling the truth even when he knows his mother will be upset and that his relief when he knows he's forgiven allows him to think of a solution for replacing the broken bowl. His "flat brain" becomes three-dimensional again (see Jim Petersen's book Why Don't We Listen Better for reference).

This is a great choice for parents and grandparents (or any other adults) to read to little ones.

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A Month of Summer

A Month of Summer by Lisa Wingate
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Johanna Parker's versatile voice brings this book to life in the audiobook version of Lisa Wingate's novel. I checked it out at random from my library's digital audiobook service when I was testing their updated mobile app. I'd never heard of the book or the author; I just liked the cover. I liked the ideas of planting a seedling and a month of summer. What an amazing bonus it was to discover such a lovely story!

Rebecca Macklin has spent more than 30 years believing her father abandoned her and her mother for a new life with his new wife and her mentally challenged son. She has held on to that bitterness for so long, she doesn't even see how it's poisoned her relationship with her husband and cut her off from three decades of her father's love. Now her father has Alzheimer's disease, and her stepmother, Hanna Beth, has had a massive stroke. Reluctantly, Rebecca boards a plane to Dallas, leaving behind her 9-year-old daughter, Macey, and her struggling marriage in order to spend a few weeks taking care of her father and stepbrother, Teddy. Their caretaker has vanished, leaving behind a filthy house, disconnected utilities, and empty bank accounts.

Hanna Beth Parker is determined to regain her powers of speech and control over her bodily functions. The idea that her beloved husband and son are dependent on the whims of her angry, hurt stepdaughter scares her. She knows that Rebecca has no idea what really happened all those years ago. But for now, Hanna Beth is trapped inside her uncooperative body with only the nurses and her "neighbor" and fellow patient, Claude, for company.

This is a story about family--biological and otherwise. It's a story of forgiveness and learning to love and trust. It's a story categorized as "Christian Fiction," surprisingly enough, since there is zero preachiness and no sermons on How To Pray And Be Saved From All Your Troubles. (I usually hate "Christian Fiction" because most of it is proselytizing thinly veiled with a not-terribly-well-written story. It makes me embarrassed to be a Christian.) Some of the coincidences, however, are Positively Providential (as Mrs. Rachel Lynde would say).

Johanna Parker's voice wraps around you like a warm shawl on a chilly day. Each character sounds different, almost as though the book were read by a full cast instead of by one talented woman. For example, the native Texans spoke with thicker accents, while Rebecca retained only a hint of her roots, and Macey sounded like a child of the West Coast.

My only quibble with this novel, and the only reason I didn't give it 5 stars, is that at times I felt like Rebecca was a little too angst-y for a 45-year-old woman. Then again, in her situation I might also be afraid to broach difficult subjects with my husband and would shy away from unwanted realities, too. I sometimes found myself almost yelling at my car stereo, "For crying out loud, just say it! Just tell the truth! You people need to learn how to communicate!" As is true in real life, so much anguish and drama would be eliminated if everyone always spoke the truth no matter what, no excuses.

Overall, though, I loved this book and was sad to have it end. I look forward to reading (listening to!) the other books in this series.

For readers' advisors: character doorway, definitely. Everything else paled in comparison, although the story was also good, and the narrator made the language come alive. Since it's Christian Fiction, it's "clean," meaning no sex, violence, or bad language.

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The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I still am not sure how I made it through this achingly funny, poignant book without sobbing. Maybe because most of it really is humorous, even the tragic parts. Dark humor sometimes, true, but witty.

Hazel Grace Lancaster is sixteen years old and slowly dying of cancer when she meets the love of her life, Augustus Waters (age 17), at a Cancer Support Group. Gus had lost a leg in his own battle with cancer a year and a half earlier but comes to the support group that night because of his friend Isaac who is about to lose his remaining eye to cancer surgery.

It sounds like this would be a total downer of a book, but John Green refuses to let that happen. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

For readers' advisors: character doorway primarily, story & language secondary, and there is one not-at-all-explicit sex scene.


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The Secret Lives of Men

The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships by Christopher Blazina

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'm giving up on this one. I've been trying to read it off and on for a few months now. What the author has to say is valuable, but...oy. The writing style reminds me of students who have to write a 10-page paper but only have 5 pages' worth of things to say. It's very redundant & dry. A good editing would go a long way. *sigh*

Instead, I would recommend checking out what the people at www.understandmen.com have to say. The PAX workshops are expensive but totally worth it, and there are now some programs on CD, DVD, and even in book format.


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Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

Grace [Eventually]: Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars

It took a while for me to get into the swing of this book. Partly, I think, because I read it entirely during lunch breaks. But mostly it was a little slow in the beginning because I was unfamiliar with Anne Lamont's personal history and style. In her teens and twenties she was a drug user and an alcoholic, and although she's been sober for more than twenty years now, she still talks in her essays about her early years...a little too cavalierly, in my opinion. Something about the way she almost assumes that experimenting with drugs is normal and quite to be expected just really rubs me the wrong way.

On the other hand, her essays are often amusing, and I LOVE her politics, her support for libraries, and her view of faith (i.e. a faith full of love and compassion rather than forcing your narrow beliefs down everyone else's throats). I can see why this book was last month's choice for the book group at my church.


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Home Before Dark

Home Before Dark by Susan Wiggs

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars

I would actually give this book 3 1/2 stars if I could. Susan Wiggs usually writes romances, and that's what I expected when I put Home Before Dark on hold. But although there are definitely romantic themes in this book, it's really more a story about two sisters and the complicated bonds of love that tie families together.

The premise of the book is that Jessie, the free-wheeling photographer, comes home to her sister's house in Texas to see her family one last time. Sixteen years ago she gave away her baby daughter to her sister Luz, and now Lila is just as rebellious as Jessie. Sixteen years ago, Luz gave up her own promising photography career to get married and raise not only Lila but also three boys born over the next few years.

What kind of lies do we tell ourselves or our loved ones in the name of protecting them? At what cost?

I'd say more, but I don't want to give anything away. :)


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