Small Move, Big Change: Using Microresolutions to Transform Your Life Permanently

Small Move, Big Change: Using Microresolutions to Transform Your Life Permanently by Caroline L. Arnold
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

While this book is a little repetitive, the concepts and concrete examples are fantastic. Arnold's main premise is that instead of getting totally overwhelmed trying to make sweeping changes in your life, the only way to truly alter your habits is to identify specific, measurable actions you can take--no more than two at a time--and focus on doing those relentlessly until they become automatic and no longer require any conscious effort, then move on to the next small shift, and so on. Sometimes this means altering your routine; sometimes this means altering your internal dialogue.

The hardest part for me is deciding where to start. So next up: finding a quiet hour to do some soul-searching to decide what is bothering me the most and what is a small change I could make that would have a positive impact and focus on continuing to do it, no matter what.

I borrowed the eAudiobook of this from my library, but I may need to buy my own copy to refer back to when I need a refresher.

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The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts

The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have heard good things about the 5 Love Languages series of books for years, but I had not read any of them until I received this version at a post-deployment yellow ribbon workshop. I now believe ALL military couples should read this edition, and everyone else should read at least one of the others. It would transform marriage in this country and around the world if we all learned to identify and speak the primary (and secondary) love languages of our spouses. Likewise, applying the same principles to our children, parents, extended family, friends, coworkers, and so on would radically improve all types of relationships, making this world a far happier, kinder, better place to live.

I wish I had been introduced to this book before my husband was deployed so that we could have tried out some of the strategies and activities Dr. Chapman suggested as accommodations during periods of separation. However, using the quiz at the end of the book really helped me discover what love languages speak the most strongly to me, and analyzing myself allowed me to identify and understand past interactions, both positive and negative. Now it's my husband's turn to read the book, and I'm excited to practice being "multilingual"!

Other reviewers have noted the prevalence of examples mentioning Christian couples, but the love languages are not specific to one religion or culture. The authors have just had a whole lot of Christian clients over the past few decades, particularly among their military clientele.

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Jo Frost's Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior

Jo Frost's Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior by Jo Frost
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have always liked watching Jo Frost as "Supernanny" on TV because she works miracles with common sense and love. Her written advice is more of the same: practical, effective, logical, and based on the stages of child development. Fabulous! I especially appreciated that she gave real-world scenario examples of all her techniques, tips, and troubleshooting FAQs. That really helped me connect the theory to what it would look like in practice and when to use which method. There is nothing revolutionary or mind-blowing about the lessons in this book, but that's the point. Raising toddlers isn't rocket science, it's just structure, consistency, and discipline (in the best sense of the word), with a whole lot of patience and love. The main takeaway for me is something I usually do instinctively and will now do consciously: S.O.S. = Step back, Observe, Step in. Thanks, Supernanny!

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The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters

The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters by Sarah Susanka
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love Sarah Susanka's home design books, but I was a little surprised to learn she had also written a book that fell into the spiritual journey/self-help arena (or "conduct of life," as it's cataloged in my library). I was feeling the need for some inspiration, so I checked it out last fall when I was home sick for a while.

Susanka applies principles of great home design to create guidelines on how to live one's life, and what she has to say fits in well with other books like The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson. I admit that I just read through the exercises in the book rather than trying them, although I did sometimes think about what my answers would be. They were good exercises, and eventually I will probably go back and try many of them. I'm sure they would benefit me greatly. I was simply too exhausted at the time to muster the mental energy necessary, and I let myself believe the excuse of needing to get through the book so I could return it to the library on time. (Obviously this was bogus, as I kept renewing it for months.)

Despite how long it took me to finish, I really enjoyed reading this book. Susanka gave me new perspectives, new ways to observe my life and change old, ineffective patterns. It's not a quick read, but it's a good one.

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The Four Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom, a Toltec wisdom book

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book by Miguel Ruiz

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


A very perceptive friend gave me this book as a Christmas present because she thought it might speak to where I was in my life, and she was (as usual) correct! It's not the most well-written book. The author talks in circles much of the time, and the result is frequently muddled and repetitive. But the core of what he says is good, and for me right now, very useful as a new way of thinking and perceiving. I think I will try and find the companion book to see if it contains practical examples of how to put the agreements into practice.

Basically the premise of the book is about how to break free of the thousands of ingrained beliefs we are raised with and change our perceptions as well as our behaviors to become better, kinder, happier people.

I read the book a couple of weeks ago, and I think I will re-read it soon.


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Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living

Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living by Tsh Oxenreider

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Finally! A practical, step-by-step how-to book on clearing the clutter and organizing your house. Nothing earth-shattering or surprising, just a ten-day plan to go through your house and get it cleaned up and organized. Admittedly, I haven't actually tried the plan yet, but I think I could easily do it if I could get my husband on board and break up the 10 days over weekends or holidays (or use vacation time, I suppose). And I'm relieved that I kind of DID do many of the steps already as a side effect of moving last month.

What I especially loved was that she includes an appendix of simple recipes for homemade cleaners and personal care products, the ingredients of which can be purchased at grocery store in most areas of the country. They're both environmentally friendly and cheaper--win/win! I think I need to go purchase my own copy of the book just for the appendices (there are four in all). :)

The other thing I love is Oxenreider's attitude of decluttering as a process or a journey, wherein ANY progress is better than no progress. She didn't make me feel guilty for not having a magazine-worthy house; she just suggested ways I might improve the appearance and functionality of my home. And she made a case for why it was worth the effort--i.e. because you need time and space to do the things you want to do, be it crafting or cooking or curling up with a good book. Clutter causes chaos and makes it difficult to live your life.

Something else I appreciated about the book was the binding. It's spiral bound with a hard cover so it'll lay flat but not snag on anything. Love that!



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The Unmistakable Touch of Grace

The Unmistakable Touch of Grace: How to Recognize and Respond to the Spiritual Signposts in Your Life by Cheryl Richardson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


A friend recommended this book to me at a time this spring when I'd received some devastating news. Talk about an unmistakable touch of grace. :) She left me first a note with the title and author and then later a copy of the book on my desk so I could check it out, which I did. It took me a while to get through it--this is not a hard read, but it does require some thought, so it's not a quick read.

Richardson tells many stories throughout the book about her experiences and those of her clients and friends, and while a few felt a little too close to "magical thinking" for comfort, on the whole they really resonated with me and reminded me to slow down and let go of my illusion of control. The universe is unfolding as it should (and has better plans for me than I made for myself in many cases).

I also like that Richardson includes and honors many different spiritual and religious beliefs and practices. And each section has not only stories but also action steps (experiments) to do and resources for further reading and research.

The section on meditation and silence featured Bill Harris, founder of Centerpointe Research Institute, whose research on brain waves has led to the Holosync audio technology which aids people in assisting deeper states of meditation. My eyes popped open at that point because I have the first 2 levels of Holosync at home and have just fallen out of the habit of listening to the CDs. So I saw that as a divine sign I needed to recharge my iPod and get back to meditating on a more regular basis. :)

For readers' advisors: character doorway, I think. Good choice for readers of Louise Hay, Eckhart Tolle, and any other authors from Oprah's Live Your Best Life series.



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Who Makes the Bed When the Honeymoon Is Over

Who Makes the Bed When the Honeymoon Is Over:100 Ways to Make Housework Quick, Easy & Fair! by Mary Ellen Pinkham

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I picked this up because of the title, which seems particularly relevant to me as I try to figure out how I ended up doing about 85% of the housework. *grrr!* I had high hopes that this short little book would give me some tips on negotiating a more fair and balanced housekeeping relationship. However, all I really learned was to remember to include non-cleaning-related tasks when making a list of chores to divvy up--i.e. don't leave out bill paying & lawn mowing, etc. I did enjoy the funny quotes, particularly the one from Dave Barry on p. 17: "The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up."

Much of the book is taken up with basic instructions on how to clean things, dividing everything into categories: daily, weekly, monthly, twice a year, special occasions. I didn't really need the instructions for most of them, and I would have preferred she suggest less toxic options for some of them, although she does do that for a few. The author has her own line of cleansers, which she consistently recommends, so it feels a little self-serving.

This may be a good book to recommend to newlyweds who are in their early twenties and new to housekeeping in general.



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Put the Seat Down and Other Brilliant Insights for an Awesome First Year of Marriage

Put the Seat down and Other Brilliant Insights for an Awesome First Year of Marriage by Jess Maccallum

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


A friend picked this up at closing time because the title caught her eye, and I decided to check it out for kicks (because it looked funny & was really short). Yes, I realize it's written for men. I did not let that stop me.

MacCallum has some really great advice for new husbands; I just wish he hadn't limited his audience by including so many Bible verses as justification for what he was saying. I didn't even disagree with the verses he chose, per se, although some of them were really a stretch, but the Evangelical Christian tone will likely deter many men from reading what would otherwise be excellent and straightforward advice. (With one exception: I do not think it damaged my marriage to have slept with my husband before our wedding. I think it strengthened our relationship and certainly made our wedding night MUCH less stressful.)

My advice: read all the excellent lists of tips & skip or skim most of the explanatory material & verses.



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Eats, Shoots & Leaves: Why, Commas Really Do Make a Difference!

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: Why, Commas Really Do Make a Difference! by Lynne Truss

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Lynne Truss has adapted her semi-famous book Eats, Shoots, & Leaves into three picture books (so far). What a great way to visually illustrate the impact punctuation has on the meaning of sentences! The rules really are quite simple and greatly enhance communication, and yet so many people screw them up constantly. This book puts the same sentence side by side on facing pages but changes the commas and uses illustrations to demonstrate the different meanings. Then at the end, there are two pages that give a little more info about the rules for each version of each sentence.

The only sentence pair I didn't like was the one with the squinting modifier about the boy & the duck: "Becky teased the boy with the fluffy duck./Becky teased the boy, with the fluffy duck." The second option just feels wrong to me. "With the fluffy duck" is a fragment. In real life, if I had to use that sentence, I probably would have rewritten it to say, "Becky used the fluffy duck to tease the boy." Surely Truss could have picked a better example?

Ah well, the rest of the examples are good. And readers young and old will enjoy the funny drawings by Bonnie Timmons. Readers will also enjoy Truss's other picture books, The Girl's Like Spaghetti: Why, You Can't Manage Without Apostrophes! and Twenty-Odd Ducks: Why, Every Punctuation Mark Counts!.



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Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui

Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui by Karen Kingston

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I came across this book during the course of doing some collection development for my nonfiction "zone" at work (in a public library) and decided to read it because I'm a little bit interested in feng shui and a LOT interested in clearing the irritating clutter from my house. Most clutter-clearing books are either lacking in practical tips or aimed at full-on hoarders (or worse, both), whereas I am a practical girl who can still see most of the floor and countertops in my house most of the time.

What I like best about this book is that it's written in short chunks that feel do-able, largely because Kingston doesn't insist that you get up right this second and sort through everything right here right now until your house looks like a magazine photo shoot. She acknowledges that not everyone has that much time or energy (including emotional energy) and that sometimes it's necessary to do a little bit every day until your newly-tidy spaces motivate you to take on bigger and bigger projects. I really like that she addresses the underlying reasons people have clutter and what it does to the energy of the people and the home.

My biggest qualm about the book is that occasionally Kingston gets a little "out there." She loses me every once in a while when she seems to stray too far into the realm of magical thinking (i.e. a woman putting a bouquet of "abundant-looking" flowers in the prosperity corner of the room leading to the woman's husband coming home and spontaneously giving his wife a $1500 check to spend on whatever she wants). However, these moments are brief, and then I'm right back with her because what she's saying about the emotional effects of clearing out and cleaning up make total sense to me.



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Clutter Busting: Letting Go of What's Holding You Back

Clutter Busting: Letting Go of What's Holding You Back by Brooks Palmer


My rating: 2 of 5 stars

To paraphrase another review of this book, this is not a book about how to de-clutter but rather WHY to de-clutter. Which would be perfectly fine...except that it's not at all what I was looking for when I chose to read it. What I really need is a how-to manual of tips & tricks to get and stay clutter-free.

I am a clutter-magnet, especially for paper, and I know this is primarily because of two reasons: 1) I forget about anything I can't see (apparently I missed a brain development stage as a toddler!), so I can't put something away until I've finished dealing with it, and 2) I'm too tired and lazy by the time I get home every day to deal with most things right then & there. However, my home & my desk at work are merely cluttered, not piled high with accumulated junk--or "treasures," depending on your point of view--like the dozens of people and examples Brooks Palmer talks about in this book.

Palmer's former clients seem mostly to be hoarders, and his stories are about helping people break free of their OCD habits caused by various types of trauma, negative thinking, denial, addictions, etc. The book is cataloged with subject headings like "house cleaning" and "storage in the home," but obviously the person who assigned the subject headings never actually read the book. I would classify it as self-help or therapy. There are a few tips--"exercises"--included in grey-shaded boxes here and there amongst the chapters, but overall it's designed to help readers make the mental shifts necessary for letting go of excess stuff.

If you are a person whose possessions (or even thoughts) have become a prison of sorts, this book might very well rate 4 stars. For people like me who just wanted tips on organizing my living room & office, it's not that useful.

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