Bewitched

Bewitched by Darynda Jones
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

After a 6-month suspended animation nap, Defiance Dayne is once again awake and getting into and out of trouble. While she was sleeping, her dads and her best friend moved across the county to join her in Salem, MA, in her magical house, Percival, haunted by the ghost of her grandfather. Defiance tries at first to lie and say her magical powers have vanished, but that doesn't work, and soon she is tracking down all sorts of missing objects and people, trying desperately to figure out how to keep everyone alive, or at least keep them from dying again.

This volume in the series could have used some heavy editing, particularly the endless repetitions of how sexy Roan was and what his inked existence did to Defiance's "nether" or "girl" parts. That got old REALLY fast, and the book would have been much improved if we could have just skipped over most of that. Roan's backstory was a key subplot, so I wish Defiance had acted her age (45) and dialed back the lust in favor of really getting to know Roan for who he was and not just fixated on the heavily tattooed, kilted outer package. If readers are supposed to go for the pair as a serious couple by the end of the series, there has GOT to be more to the relationship than electricity. In both directions, though mercifully we are spared the recitation of Roan's lustful thoughts.

I LOVE Darynda Jones' books, but this is my least favorite. Some excellent parts, though! And I do still want to listen to the next book to see how the loose ends get tied up.

For readers' advisors: story doorway is primary. Tons of sexual content, though really only one actual sex scene. Plenty of profanity, some violence and threats of violence, but not overly graphic. Trigger warnings for spousal and child abuse. LGBTQIA-adjacent, as Defiance was raised by her two dads, one of whom is Latinx. Her grandmother's love interest, the police chief, is African-American. Other characters are either white or not memorably specified.

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Payback's a Witch

Payback's a Witch by Lana Harper
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Emmy Harlow left town as soon as she graduated from high school and has only been back to visit a few times since then, determined to live a magic-free life on her own terms in Chicago, after a painful breakup from an ill-advised secret romance with the Blackmoore family scion decimated her self-esteem. Now 26, Emmy has a job she adores, a mountain of student-loan debt, and a fierce desire to maintain her distance from everyone and everything she used to love. Enter The Gauntlet, a centuries-old tradition wherein the scions of the town's magical founding families compete once "every fifty years to determine which founding family got to preside over all things magical in Thistle Grove." The Harlow scion is the impartial Arbiter, and Emmy is the Harlow scion.

Her first night back in town, Emmy heads to a local bar and encounters her worst nightmare: Gareth Blackmoore and his drunk buddies. For his part, Gareth...absolutely doesn't recognize her and tries to hit on her, stunned that his pickup lines fail to impress. Natalia Avramov witnesses Emmy and Gareth's encounter and, to Emmy's shock, not only recognizes but actively remembers her from high school, though Talia was two years ahead. The women spend the rest of the evening drinking and bonding. The following morning, Emmy drags her pounding head to brunch with her BFF Linden Thorn and gets another shock: not only has Talia also had..."unfortunate relations" with Gareth, but he recently broke Lin's heart. Talia crashes their brunch to propose revenge: an unprecedented alliance between the Thorn scion (Lin's twin brother Rowan) and Avramov scion (Talia) against the Blackmoore scion (Gareth) at the upcoming Gauntlet. Though the challenges cannot be known in advance, plotting and planning provides ample time for sparks to fly between Talia and Emmy. Will those sparks be enough to rekindle Emmy's love for their town, or will they flame out as the Gauntlet ends?

This book was great fun to read, especially the descriptions of how the magic felt as it roared through Emmy, and I really enjoyed the steamy romance between Talia and Emmy, though sometimes I wanted to remind them that relationships which last cannot be built from chemistry alone--feeling "at home" with your partner is far more important than flutters and zings. Reading Emmy's struggle with her quarter-life crisis made me grateful to be past that phase of life. So much angst and self-delusion, so much pointless resistance to that which feeds her soul. I also appreciated that for all the angst, sexuality was a non-issue. No one batted at eye at Emmy being bisexual or Talia having a strong preference for women, yet also having a foolish fling with a man after a bad breakup. Humans are humans, and heartbreak is heartbreak.

I look forward to book two in the series, which presumably will feature Rowan and Isidora. Perhaps the author will flesh out some unanswered world-building questions in that installment, such as how intermarriage between founding families affects magical abilities and bloodlines. Surely this has come up at some point in the past 300 years? They can't *all* have married "normies." Or along those same lines, how are family names passed down? Specifically, do men who marry into the founding families take their wives' last names? Is that how Emmy's grandmother was able to keep and pass on the Harlow name? Or Gareth's grandmother? These questions and others didn't keep me from enjoying the story, but they did make me stop and wonder.

For readers' advisors: story and character doorways are both strong. There is a lot of swearing and drinking (I am seriously concerned for their livers!) but no violence. Tons of flirting, raging hormones, sexy thoughts and banter--in short, it's pretty steamy/spicy, but not especially explicit. The Gauntlet is reminiscent of the Triwizarding Tournament in Harry Potter.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eGalley ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!

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Highfire

Highfire by Eoin Colfer
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I finished reading the ARC from NetGalley a couple of weeks ago, and even with that amount of time to ponder, I still am not quite sure what I thought/think of the book. It is definitely unlike anything I have ever read before! From the description, I was expecting something much less dark and violent. Yes, there is a great deal of humor, but it's not a lighthearted read. Characters die, nearly die, and lose body parts. The vast quantity of profanity starts on page one, the crude sexual references and jokes not long after.

You can't help but root for teenage (Everett) Squib Moreau, and I grew fond of Vern, the depressed curmudgeon of an ancient dragon, as time went on, too. Constable Hooke freaked me out--he's a ruthless psychopath who has been getting away with murdering people for years, beginning with his cruel zealot of a father.

On balance, I think I'm glad I read the book because it was so unusual and kept me reading to find out what would happen. But it's not one I'll re-read. I prefer my escapist fiction to be more laugh-out-loud and less dark. I'm sure other people with different reading tastes will love this, though.

For readers' advisors: story doorway is perhaps primary? Readers will need an incredibly high tolerance for bad language, sexual references, and on-screen violence. Vern is, he believes, the last of his kind--a fire-breathing dragon ("Vern" is short for "Wyvern"). The closest genre it fits into is contemporary fantasy because the story revolves around a dragon living/hiding in a swamp in a modern-day Louisiana bayou.

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Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating

Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The first time Hazel met Josh, she propositioned him and then threw up on his shoes. The second time, he walked in on her having sex with his roommate. The third time, he was the TA in her anatomy class. It's not an auspicious beginning for a relationship, but despite Hazel's wildly quirky personality, lack of a verbal filter, and propensity for mishaps, she's innately lovable. So when they meet years later at a BBQ at Josh's sister's house, and Hazel decides he's going to be her new best friend (in addition to his sister, who is her current best friend), she's absolutely right.  When Josh breaks up with his girlfriend, she talks him into setting each other up on a series of double blind dates.  Unsurprisingly, these don't go as planned.

I loved that this book was set in Portland, Oregon! Truthfully, it could almost have been set in any large city, but I enjoyed the local references nonetheless.

I laughed out loud so many times while reading, especially in the first half of the book. Once, I even laughed until I cried. Such witty banter and ridiculous chaos follow Hazel wherever she goes! I'm sure I would have a much harder time dealing with her in real life, but as a character, she's hilarious.

I also really appreciated that Josh and Emily were Korean, and I loved how Christina Lauren wove Korean culture into the fabric of the characters' lives. Made me miss my honorary Korean family so much!

One small thing that irked me, though, was that although Hazel has an (hysterically inappropriate) mnemonic device for remembering all eight types of pronouns, the author hasn't yet fully learned the difference between "who" and "whom"...and neither has her copy editor. Still, my issue was with only one scene out of a whole book, so that's a pretty minor complaint.

For readers' advisors: character doorway is primary, story secondary. There is a LOT of swearing and sexual content--from sex jokes and references to a few fairly explicit sex scenes. Also quite a bit of drinking or references to alcohol. No violence, other than Josh getting clobbered in the head a couple of times.

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The Lightning-Struck Heart

The Lightning-Struck Heart by T.J. Klune
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

An apprentice to the King's Wizard who gets kidnapped constantly, pines for the hunky Knight Commander, loves his parents, and has a hornless gay unicorn and a half-giant for best friends? Hilarious!! Absolutely crazy, and you just have to go with the flow. Or quest. Because, you know, rescuing the prince who's been kidnapped by a talking dragon and all that.

This is a long book (in print it's almost 400 pages, and the ebook version I read was over 600 pages), full of sass, snark, adventure, romance, heartbreak, sex puns, and magic. The characters are delightful--even the supposed villains cracked me up--and the dialogue had me convulsing with laughter.

Warning, though: you must have a VERY high tolerance for profanity and gay sex puns to enjoy this book. Seriously. So. Much. Swearing. And reference to sex--acts, organs, feelings. No actual sex scenes until the last few pages, though, unless you count the...er...interspecies encounter Sam unfortunately overhears a few chapters earlier. (He'll never get those images out of his brain! Gah!) As a straight woman, the actual sex scenes weren't my cup of tea, but they're more or less analogous to hetero sex scenes in some of the steamier romance novels I've read.

Almost all the characters were queer--mostly gay, one was asexual, and "Mama" was a drag queen. There were some token CIS characters, namely Sam's parents, the King, and the female members of the Ryan Foxheart fan club. I loved that being gay was completely ordinary and unremarkable. Even the Prince was gay, and that was no big deal because somehow gay men could have babies (although how was not explained).

The one thing that kept my rating from being 5 stars (and I know it's kind of nit-picky) was that the author & his copy editor REALLY need to learn the difference between "who" and "whom." Every single time "whom" should have been used...it wasn't. And there was at least one case where "I" was used in place of "me." The grammar mistakes yanked me out of the story and made me long for the ability to teach Mr. Klune & his editor about the difference between subjective & objective pronouns. It wouldn't have hurt for the book to have been a teensy bit shorter, although I feel like I should duck and cover for saying that.

This is the first in a series, and I look forward to reading the next installments!

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I Must Say: My Life As a Humble Comedy Legend

I Must Say: My Life As a Humble Comedy Legend by Martin Short
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Listening to Martin Short read his own memoir is definitely preferable to reading it oneself. The "interludes" where Marty, as his friends call him, performs some of his more famous characters can't possibly translate fully to mere print. Likewise, you would lose so much of the life and emotion he brings to the stories and anecdotes he shares if you couldn't hear his voice.

However, it's not suitable for listening to when there are small children present because he occasionally "works a little blue" (as he would say) and swears a fair amount in parts.

I found this audiobook to be a really interesting history of Short's life and career. Much of it took place when I was very young and not aware of who he was--my most vivid memories of his work are of his character "Frahnk" the wedding planner in the Father of the Bride movies, as well as a few more recent characters. Most of the "interlude" sections would probably resonate more with listeners a decade or two older than I am, or perhaps with younger ones who've binged-watched his performances on Netflix or YouTube. This is why I rated it as a solid 3 stars for myself (3 1/2 really), but I would expect many people would rate it 4 or 5 stars.

My favorite thing about this audiobook is how Martin's love for his family, especially his wife, shines through. He acknowledges what a wonderful, supportive upbringing he had, despite some early devastating losses, and the whole second half of the book or so (it's hard to estimate with an audiobook!) is basically an homage to his wife "Nan." Some of his stories about her brought me to tears.

It's also quite the Who's Who of '80s and '90s Hollywood--the nice thing about being such a warm, loving couple is that the Shorts formed long-lasting friendships with a great many people, sometimes spanning from the 1970s to today.

For readers' advisors: character doorway is definitely primary. This is a great one to suggest to fans of Martin Short in particular but also anyone looking for a humorous autobiography/memoir. It does contain swearing, sexual references (nothing explicit), and some drug use.

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Fifth Grave Past the Light

Fifth Grave Past the Light by Darynda Jones
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Book #5 picks up a few days after book #4 leaves off. This time Charley is juggling a case involving a cheating husband; her suspicions that her boyfriend, Reyes, might be a serial arsonist; concerns over her sister's nervous new client; and a couple dozen terrified dead blonde women who have taken over her apartment but don't seem to want to communicate with her or cross over. Her friend Garrett is being frustratingly closed-mouthed regarding his time in Hell and his subsequent investigation of all things Reyes. And now Uncle Bob's boss, the chief, has become suspicious about how she solves so many cases so quickly and is snooping around, turning up where he is least expected and most unwanted. What's a grim reaper to do?!

I love these books so much! It's nearly impossible to put them down, and this one is no exception. I craved reading it like Charley craves coffee, and that is saying something. It's very fast-paced, which is great, except then I finished it too quickly and now have to wait (impatiently) for the next one.

I finally figured out who Charley reminds me of: a combination of Janet Evanovich's heroine, Stephanie Plum, and the character of U.S. Marshall Mary Shannon, played by the actress Mary McCormack on the TV show "In Plain Sight." Charley is brash and often crass, independent and yet endearingly vulnerable and empathetic. She gets herself into all sorts of messes because she barges full speed ahead in pursuit of justice and in defense of the defenseless. It's a really good thing that she has supernatural healing abilities and can sometimes stop time or leave her body to act in times of life-and-death emergency--qualities both Ms. Plum and Agent Shannon lack.

For readers' advisors: story doorway is primary, and I definitely would not suggest this series to anyone looking for "clean reads," as the language and sex scenes are not tame.

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The Duke Is Mine

The Duke Is Mine by Eloisa James
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Olivia Lytton has been raised since birth to be a duchess. Her father and the Duke of Canterwick were schoolmates who pledged to betroth their first-born daughter and son, respectively, so Olivia has always known who she'd marry. However, her fiance is a few bricks shy of a load and five years younger than she to boot, so she takes refuge in bawdy wit, to the despair of her mother and twin sister.

After an embarrassing encounter forced on the pair by their parents, Rupert heads off to war, determined to bring glory upon his family name before he marries Olivia. For her part, Olivia becomes Rupert's champion as she learns to appreciate his sweetness and realizes he had been deprived of oxygen at birth. With Olivia's future settled, she and her twin sister Georgiana head to the country where Georgie is auditioning for the role of duchess to Quin, the Duke of Sconce. (In other words, they attend a house-party hosted by his mother).

Unlike the frequently irreverent Olivia, Georgiana would make an ideal duchess, and the dowager agrees. Problem is, Quin cannot keep his eyes or his attention away from Olivia, and the feeling is mutual. What a tangled web!

I loved Olivia's sense of humor. Were I in her shoes, pledged to marry a man who could never be my intellectual equal and who would require a lifetime of care, I likely would become clinically depressed, but Olivia chooses to make herself laugh instead, and I admire that.

I also loved that you get to know and understand the characters better over time, which makes them more human and sympathetic. For example, Georgie may be perfectly behaved, but she longs to go to university, in an age where women simply weren't allowed access to higher education. Even the obedient child has a bit of rebel in her.

The overall story is a re-imagining of the Princess and the Pea fairy tale, and I enjoyed how Ms. James played with those themes. Apparently, though, the ending was also a tribute to The Scarlet Pimpernel...although it's been too long since I read it to catch those allusions.

Based on other reviews I've read, this is a book you either love or hate, and I loved it. Zany fun, and great for a day cooped up indoors with a nasty cold.

For readers' advisors: character and story doorways are primary, setting secondary. Some steamy sex scenes set in Regency England.

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I Am a Pole (and so can you!)

I Am a Pole by Stephen Colbert
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Stephen Colbert cracks me up!

I bought copies of this book for my husband and my brother, thinking it would be more like Colbert's previous book I Am America (and so can you!). I didn't realize it was written as a picture book. While the cadence of the language lends itself to reading the book aloud, I don't think I'll be reading it to any preschoolers any time soon, though, thanks to the (really funny) page about the pole dancer. However, my mother, my husband, my eleven-year-old stepson, and I all laughed out loud while reading it to ourselves, which I see as a great sign of widespread appeal.

The story is of a pole trying to find its calling in life. It tries out many careers before settling on the patriotic one of displaying the American flag.

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